My Dad

Being a mom for the last 4 years made me think even more of the impact my mom and dad had on me and my character. A few years back when we were celebrating my dad’s 70th birthday, we took the time to let guests, including kids and grand kids, say something their learned from my dad. It was so pleasant to hear all the favorable impact dad’s life is bringing to the lives of those around him, even while battling the awful Parkinson’s disease he was diagnosed with almost 17 years ago. With June being the Father’s Day month, I had been reflecting on Dad’s impact on my life and I can only hope and keep trying to be such a good influence myself.

Here are some of the things I have learned from my dad.

Read and follow the Bible instructions. When my siblings and I were old enough to balance play with homework and chores, I remember Dad finding ways to remind us the importance of spending time reading the Bible on our own. He was persistent but always gentle. One of the versus that he would use as the tool was Joshua 1:8 “Study this Book of instructions continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” Yes, we had debates about how anyone could read it day and night. Now that I have walked a little longer on this journey of life, I know Dad was sharing the best tools to succeed. He was one wise man. And he “walked” the Bible himself.

Dad knew how to fix things. From loose buttons to broken furniture and everything in between, dad was my go to for fixing things or I could say everything. Growing up in the culture where things were fixed, not just replaced, had a really positive effect on my character. Watching my dad repair, build, or make furniture always inspired me. I also like to compare the aspect of fixing things to when it comes to restoring relationships with people. Some relationships can be fixed as easy as a loose button, some can take up more of our energy and effort, and others are so valuable to us that we keep them no matter what. Some are out of our ability to fix and we have to reach out for help.

Dad was a very hard-working man. Working 30 plus years on a furniture factory he was known to be one of the most hard-working man. Dad and mom worked really hard to buy a tiny house but with a great property to have a place to raise the family. The house was old but Dad made sure it was always in a good shape. He planted and took diligent care of the garden. We had all sorts of trees that could survive in the environment we lived in. One of the things my mom always thought dad could get better at is finding a better balance between work and rest (although she wasn’t any better at it herself J). Helping out his parents who lived far away during his vacations, helping friends or relatives with home remodels after work or on weekends, dad’s hands rarely got a break. Sundays, he was busy singing in church choir for as many years as I can remember which also included practices every Thursday night.

Dad is my look-up-to hero for loyalty, forgiveness, kindness, and love. I could write a book on his daily-living of those traits.

He was a man of self-control and he always kept his word. Dad was a man who could control his tongue and his temper. Never in my life I heard him cuss. After his nearly fatal stomach issues in his forties, he religiously followed a diet for over 10 years. But even before then, he was always aware of not overeating. Dad is also one of my living examples that one can live a blessed and content life without alcohol. In the culture where alcoholism destroyed lives of many families and individuals he was strong enough to choose not to drink and be example to those around him. When it came to keeping his word, I could always count on Dad. As a child I remember him always keeping his promises if he said he would take us to a lake or to watch airplanes, or whatever else it was.

I have no doubt I inherited most of my organizational skills from my dad. His garage had everything one would ever need in a household. All his tools were always in great conditions and ready for use. Everything was in its place. His bookshelves were neat and tidy. So was Dad’s appearance.

Dad was a traveler. I never wondered were I got my love for traveling. After serving in the army, before getting married and settling down at the age of 27, Dad traveled quite a bit through the past soviet union countries. He ended up working in Ural after his service in the army and later married my mom after visiting Rivne, my native town in Ukraine. It was a small world even then. 😉 When mom shared with us kids how adventurous our Dad was, we would always ask him to tell us about his travels. The highlight was how it was flying on a plane. Going to see grandparents in Belarus, going with mom and dad on their choir missions to a neighboring town, or school trips, all of it was always a special occasion for me and my siblings. It was really hard for our parents to keep us home. They had us take turns but we never had volunteers. 🙂

Dad was a life-long learner. 7 years of public school was the official schooling he got in his entire life but he never stopped to gain wisdom or learn things. He loved to read and passed the reading passion on to the entire family. He was always up-to-date on what was going on locally or globally. He prescribed his newspapers regularly and everyone knew radio was his friend. His number one teacher was God and his main manual was the Bible. Growing up with no google wasn’t that bad having such an intelligent dad. If I ever needed help with my “non-solvable” math homework or any other subject, Dad was my rock. He either knew the answer or knew where to find it. Dad was not a preacher, well-known pastor, or an evangelist but if anyone needed to know where the Bible talks about a specific matter, he was the one to go to. His eagerness to learn English even after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, always blew me away. He would not miss any of his classes. He would practice his English with us kids and sometimes ask us to go talk to his teacher if he had something he couldn’t explain himself. I had no excuse but study as hard as dad did.

Dad was a very generous man. I remember one of his lessons on sharing. When he would bring home a huge chocolate bar or anything else we had to share, each of us wanted to be the one who would be splitting.  Dad’s lesson would be- whomever is in charge of sharing is to give a bigger piece to the other sibling and keep smaller one. It would calm down the debates on who will be in charge and also taught us that being in charge doesn’t mean you get to keep more to yourself but it meant you will be serving others and might even get less for yourself. It was a great preventative measure from greed.

One of the other lessons our dad was passionate about teaching us was think before talk. He would give the tailor’s example. Measure seven times before cutting the material. It didn’t always make sense to me but now I clearly see how keeping my mouth shut saved me from lots of troubles when growing up. Some occasions it even made me look smart :). The Bible is always right. I love that my dad was more of a listener than a talker which is such a rare find these days. At the same time Dad was a great partner in any constructive conversation. He also knew when to come to a defense if someone was misjudged.

I could write and write about so many other great things I have learned from my dad. Not to procrastinate. Respect for elders. Respect for the country you live in and the one where you came from.  I admire how Dad respected women. His unconditional love for our mom as well as his love and respect for children. I could go on and on. I will finish with one that probably had the deepest effect on my life long-term.

Dad made sure to introduce me to the Dad of all the dads, the Heavenly Father. Dad was wise enough to know he will not always be around but he knew the One who always will be. I will always deeply respect my Dad for not forcing any of his beliefs or church traditions on me. His love for God, Church, and his Christ-like character had and will always have the best effect on whom I was, am, and will be.

In my early teenage years when I was confused about one of the church traditions and had discussed it about a million times with my siblings and our mom, mom finally sent me to talk to dad. I was not 100% sure what I was hoping for. Good explanation on why this tradition was done in the certain way or just for a yes or no answer but I didn’t get either from my dad. What he said had a life-long effect. In a very gentle, understanding, and loving way he said, “Read about it in the Bible yourself”. After finding the answer about that particular question on my own, it was a turning point for me to rely on the Bible to find my answers. Comfort when I didn’t feel like finding it anywhere else, clarifications when everyone else seemed to be confused, or any other answer that comes up on this journey of life. It has been my life guidebook as it was and is for my dad. I had never been disappointed!

Pictures time. Me and my dad at our beach getaway last weekend.

The one below goes way back. My sister happened to have this picture with her at our beach getaway. Apparently she keeps it in her purse. 🙂 I am the little girl Dad is holding. My sister says our mom was at work when the picture was taken. All other siblings are there expect my youngest brother who came along a few years later. Cameras were not so popular back in the days 🙂 One of the neighbors offered to take a picture and there was not a lot of time for preparations. I still got a big bow on my head. My sisters did well 😉

My High School Graduation in 2004. I was the first one in our family to graduate from school in USA. Dad was sure proud of me.

Birthday picture awhile back. Dad’s birthday is two days before mine.

 With Dad on my Big Day in 2008.

I could never ask for a better Dad!! Beyond thankful to my Heavenly Father for showing me how amazing and boundless His love is through my Dad. My heart breaks every time I think or see anyone who lives with less than what I had and have in my Dad. Even now when the merciless Parkinson disease doesn’t give us a break my comfort and hope comes from Psalm 68: 5 “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows-this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” I will always be in the best hands!